Saturday, 31 July 2010

An Update

At last i've got enough concentration to give you an update.Four weeks ago after having a " funny turn" over the weekend DH booked me into the doc's . My regular doc was not there again so he'd booked me in to see another. As I was unable to drive DD came over to take me. Whilst waiting for my appointment I collapsed in the waiting room. Anyway somehow they got me into the treatment room where I came to and started to panic . DH had taken all my medication to show the doc what I was on and when he and the other doctor , who'd picked me up, saw the cocktail of drugs they were visibly shocked accourding to my DD. They both reckoned I was on far to much . The new doctor we had the appoinment with was very nice and took charge straight away . He took me off all the medication except the Diazapam , which can't be stopped abruptly .Then proceeded to get me down from the ceiling. Which DD said seemed to take forever . When i'd finally calmed down the doc said he was leaving me off the medication for 48 hrsand made me an appointment to go back in two days .When I returned after the two days he put me on one new antideppressant and the Diazapam. He was so caring and concerned that I decided there and then to change over to seeing him.
He saw me every other day for two weeks and got me off one of the Diazapam. The other antidepressant has been increased and this week I started the painful task of coming off the Diazapam.
Before the crisis came to a peak I felt like a zombie with all the drugs iwas on but now there is a glimmer of light at the end of a very dark tunnel. The doc says there's a long way to go yet but with his help and the councelling I'm getting I should come out of this terrible time and back to normal.
I have had to cancel all my shows , which has been a great dissapointment , as I love going out doing them . The car and the caravan are parked up as I can't use them , again upsetting .
I felt so let down by my other doc as i'd been seeing him for 25yrs but he's semi retired now and I think he's losing interest in his patients . Anyway I seem to be in the hands of a good concerned one now .
My DH has been a tower of strength during all this as have my family . I have also got some very good friends who have run me to the docs and a one very special friend who takes me to my councelling and waits outside for an hour whilst I have my session. I don't know what I would do without them all .
This has all been very painful to write, as those of you who know the Black Dog of deppression well ,but I thought it might do me good to get it down in black and white and also to update my many readers. I will try and update a little more often to let you know of my progress.